Being afraid is not the problem, but letting fear control us is the greatest obstacle to our growth and success. In this episode, host Darren CdeBaca dives deep into the concept of fear and its impact on personal growth. He breaks down the Top 8 "Afraids" that create obstacles to our growth and prevent us from reaching our full potential. Darren explores how these fears can manifest in our lives and provides practical tips backed with research and personal experience for overcoming them. Don't let your fears hold you back any longer. Tune in to learn how to overcome them and achieve your goals.
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Being Afraid Is The Obstacle
Thank you for tuning in. If you're not taking notes because you're chilling out on the couch, don't be afraid to come on back and read any part of this to get those meaningful thoughts and suggestions back into your day and/or your vision as you see fit about this episode's topic, which is being afraid is the obstacle. We run into that a lot at DCB Strategies.
It's human nature to have fear guide people's emotions and thus actions, but before we start, let me share with you the phrase that best defines the work at DCB Strategies that capture the result of achieving those bold goals with an accountable plan and purpose that creates persistence. Whether you're a professional or have a personal goal or athletic goal, here's the comment and phrase, “Being the best and average have nothing in common.” Repeat that to yourself and how does that resonate with you?
Your brain automatically draws a line in the sand and says, “Am I the best or average?” As you know, at DCB Strategies, we're not here to judge that. We're here to share with you the toolset that the best use to stay above the average and the way they think and they act to achieve their most important growth goals. Again, whether it is a professional suit or a personal endeavor, the best take and make the effort of not allowing being afraid to stand in the way of their growth. Let's enjoy this topic and talk a little bit about the normal seas of being afraid and how we can accomplish a mindset to attack those and eliminate them so we can move on with our growth journey.
How did this topic come up and about for this show? It's interesting while reviewing many of what we call breakout profiles of DCB clients, I recognize the top eight afraids. When we have a breakout profile that we initiate at DCB Strategies before the program begins, there are a couple of open-ended questions that crack open the can of what individuals or teams can be afraid of in tackling a growth journey.
I recognize these top afraids that were identified and stood in the way of progress and growth. Many clients are afraid of getting out of their own comfort zones. Again, whether these are teams or individuals. Comfort zones of which when they do start creeping out of their comfort zones, they start living their energetic growth journeys and it's so contagious. It becomes very energetic for all, witnessing the new habits they're making to get new results.
Let's face it, as humans of comfort, many don't visualize the growth possibilities ahead because they only focus their mindset power on their fears of the unknown. That's natural. Our brains are flight or fright. We are very concerned about the unknown but not the best. The best treat the unknown as a way to feed their appetite to grow. I want to figure out make the invisible visible.
As creatures of comfort, many don't visualize the growth possibilities ahead because they only focus their mindset power on their fears of the unknown.
Let's talk a little bit about that in the near term here. This led me to use the word afraid for a Wednesday weekly wisdom, which is coming up here soon. Upon researching wonderful quotes about the word afraid, I immediately recognize the power of each of these quotes relative to the coaching that we do at DCB Strategies with clients in reaching their growth goals. You'll see how we use these common afraids and switch the wording around to empower our growth agendas.
First, let's take a look at the actual definition of the word afraid so we're on the same page. Afraid is unwilling or reluctant to do something for the fear of the consequences. It seems as though the word fear is taking up some head space in this definition and it's really fear. People are afraid so they're fearful. Let's have fun with fear as to what fear means.
Here's a good way of thinking about it If you have a growth mindset. If you have a fixed mindset, I ask you to become into the world of growth mindsets. FEAR in DCB Strategies stands for the following, “False Expectations Appearing Real.” It's all invisible again. We want to make sure that these invisible expectations don't misguide us and not go after our growth goals. That's what we want to do.
The only thing that is not real is the invisible goal that you want to accomplish. Let's use those afraid and make your growth goals visible. Let's take that journey of recognizing the most common afraid that I've identified and use them to initiate our growth journeys. Let's have some fun with that. Are ready to see how we can make the invisible into the invisible? We're not afraid so let's do this.
Here are the eight afraids that create obstacles to growth. Remember, the topic of this is being afraid is the obstacle. I will read each one initially and then come back to each and manipulate that afraid quote in favor of our growth journeys. As I read each one and have fun with this, please take a moment to write down how it may apply to your situation. There are 8 of them so 1, 2, or 3 may, if not all of them. If not, zero growth mindset and fixed mindset.
Remember these eight phrases are taken directly from DCB client breakout profiles that our clients fill out before our initial coaching sessions so they're real. This isn't made up. You'll also hear me suggest the power of self-talk by sharing with you the best personal and repeatable statement to overcome that particular afraid quote.
1) Don't be afraid to dream big. 2) Don't be afraid of change because it is leading you to a new beginning. 3) Never be afraid to stand alone. 4) Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great. 5) Be afraid to lose yourself by trying to please everyone around you. 6) Winners are afraid of losing while losers are afraid of winning. 7) Stop being afraid of what can go wrong and think of what can go right. 8) Don't be afraid to fail. Be afraid not to try.
Don't Be Afraid To Dream Big
As I mentioned, I'm going to go over number one and share with you the way we can manipulate number one to empower our growth journey. Number one is don't be afraid to dream big. Why don't salespeople or people in our industry dream big or have personal growth opportunities? Everyone should be able to dream big. People's surroundings typically blur their views and they compare their situation with everyone else around them.
As the truism goes, we become who we surround ourselves with. Thus, people in thoughts. If we surround ourselves with people who don't dream big there, then we're not going to dream big. Stand is to action. The plan is real. Applications to change this around, talk big, “I am the top in the nation. I have a brand like no other in my space. I am the best promoter of our nonprofit that can ever take place in the country. I am making enough money to purchase that second home.”
Don't be afraid to dream big.
“I have a client experience model that is the most enjoyable. I am becoming the best seminar speaker in my company. I'm doubling the size of my average client. I'm not afraid to dream big. Also, I'm not afraid to speak big.” If you're afraid to dream big, you have to learn how to speak big to get out of that scenario being if afraid. Here is the way we switch that around. Don't be afraid to dream big for the following. “I am dreaming big to become big.”
Don't Be Afraid Of Change
Number two is don't be afraid of change because it is leading you to a new beginning. This is one of the largest obstacle illusions we see at DCB Strategies when we're working with clients. Clients come across challenges in meeting their growth journeys. If you take the word challenge, you'll see in the word itself there's a word change that is spelled in there. You have the letters to spell change. When you have a challenge, it's going to propose you change the way you think and act to move on through that.
Change is free. It's there for the taking. Change requires you the courage to reassess where you are to restate what you want to do, and then reactivate it with actions in your business model, personal health model, or community business model that helps the community strive for bigger growth opportunities. Break out of your comfort zone of old habits. That's what this is all about. Again, it says don't be afraid of change because it is leading you to a new beginning.
Here's the way I would turn that around, “I am changing to start a new beginning.” Nothing to word about the word afraid or about I'm afraid to change. That's the power of the freedom that we have in the free source of changing the way we think, which changes our actions. If you start walking around saying, “I'm changing to start a new beginning,” your brain will say, “What are we changing? Let's start now.” That takes care of number two.
Never Be Afraid To Stand Alone
Number three is never to be afraid to stand alone. There are a lot of clients who can't see themselves at the top by themselves. It's uncomfortable, but we're saying never be afraid to stand alone. When you think about this, when you're in your own lane, there's no traffic. Traffic is very noisy and confusing and it can stall people out. It is lonely at times when you, as a winner, are on your growth journey working by yourself to rise above when nobody else is working. It is quiet when you are not with the crowd.
Again, they don't make statues of crowds. They make statues of individuals who rise above. It takes courage to separate yourself from the average. Don't be afraid to stand alone. The lead dog is the one that uncovers the opportunities and the pack behind may never see them. I'm going to take the comment of the quote, “Never be afraid to stand alone,” and turn it into this, “I am excited to stand alone at the mountaintop. I want to shout out the success to everyone looking up at me.” That takes care of number three.
It takes courage to separate yourself from the average, so don't be afraid to stand alone.
Don't Be Afraid To Give Up The Good To Go For The Great
Number four is don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great. This is common. All too many times, we hear at DCB Strategies, “I am satisfied with what I'm doing. I'm good at what I'm doing.” That's the reason they never had a taste of what it feels like to be great. Once they start getting the taste of what it is like to be great or better than good, it gets contagious.
They want to rinse and evolve, not rinse and repeat. They want to rinse and get bigger. How do you look at don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great? Here's how you state it. “I am becoming great because I gave up the good.” Say that to yourself five times a day if you fall in that category. It will initiate parts of your brain that it never felt before and it becomes very energetic.
Be Afraid To Losing Yourself By Trying To Please Everyone Around You
Number five is to be afraid of losing yourself by trying to please everyone around you. Does it sound familiar? We all want to be people pleasers, but people pleasers don't grow above the average. They stay within the crowd. We have a saying at DCB Strategies and it's not a selfish saying but it's one take pride in your own growth journey because if you take care of yourself, you can take care of everyone else. “Don't be concerned about what other people think about you, but always give them something to think about.”
Don't concern yourself with what other people think about you, but always give them something to think about.
Use that time and effort to bolster your time for focus and practice new success habits for yourself because new habits create new results. Remember, the best in their craft are very selfish when it comes to driving their success models. Selfish means you pay attention to yourself. You're not a people pleaser. You're on your growth journey and taking care of your needs and goods for the best you can be so you could be better available for others when you're complete with that.
There is time for everyone else after taking care of the business that is most valuable to you and your family. Don't lose sight of that. Again, as I started this discussion with number five, as many confuse the people pleaser with successful one. That's not usually the case. The people pleasers usually drown themselves in the crowded atmosphere and the noise, never having themselves have the chance to rise above and provide the excellence that they deserve and earned along the way.
Winners Are Afraid Of Losing While Losers Are Afraid Of Winning
Number six is winners are afraid of losing while losers are afraid of winning. That's powerful. Here's the way to turn that into a more positive self-talk statement, “I am winning by not losing.” You start driving yourself in a very large growth trajectory that's comfortably interesting. The application of this, for example, is if you're a wholesaler in a financial industry and you have a private wealth village. Your other colleagues at your firm don't, which means you have access to the private wealth offices in your territory and your other colleagues around the nation don't. The amount of things that you're doing is incredible.
You're not afraid of losing and going after it and making the biggest impact you can.
Whereas your colleagues may be afraid of winning and getting that private wealth village. What do I do with them now? “I have to become better with my craft. It leads where I'm going with that.” If you're a financial advisor or in a private wealth team, you may have 50 clients with $10 million each and that's the reality as opposed to having 300 or 400 clients with $100,000 or $50,000 each.
You can focus on 50 clients with $10 million each. That's your home base and what you focus on. You're not afraid of losing, which means you're not afraid is hearing no at the other end of the conversation when you're going after those large prospects to become your client working and creating a new craft to get those actual clients so you can become amongst the best advisors in your firm and around the country.
The other colleagues will always look up to you and be afraid to put in the work that it requires to get that elite status as I exampled in this scenario having a clientele of a private wealth village as a wholesaler or having 50, 75, or 100 clients from $10 million each and high-net-worth client base. A lot of people don't want to put in the work the focus to do that. If you do that and don't mind losing along the way and becoming a winner, it's awesome. Let's change it around from winners are afraid of losing while losers are afraid of winning. “I am winning by not losing.” That's fine. Keep on going. Every no brings you closer to a yes. That's the way you think about it.
Stop Being Afraid Of What Can Go Wrong And Think Of What Can Go Right
Number seven is to stop being afraid of what can go wrong and think of what can go right. This stands in the way of many people's growth journeys. “If I do this, something may happen here. If I do that, something may happen here.” Again, you can bring up all kinds of reasons for what can go wrong. We'd rather you be empowered about what can go right. What can go right? Don't be afraid of what can go wrong in a growth journey to better yourself and think about all the things that can go right. Overwhelm yourself with that thought process.
Here's an example for someone in the financial advisor business. “I can obtain my certification over the next 4 to 6 months and thus gain more credibility in my field.” The other way of looking at it is, “I might fail my exams so I won't go for it.” Which one's more growth-oriented and afraid of what can go right? Don't be afraid of what can go wrong. Think of all the great things that can go right.
Another one is, “I can call on every private wealth sales office in the country to start creating relationships right now or not because it won't work in the time will be wasted.” That's thinking about what can go wrong versus what can go right. If you overwhelm yourself with all the things that can go right with your growth goal statement, you will be on a journey of exciting strategy and action plans that will deliver new habits and new results. Let's turn stop being afraid of what can go wrong and think of what can go right into the following, “I am excited about all the things that are going right due to my focus.” That's powerful.
Don't Be Afraid To Fail, Be Afraid Not To Try
Number eight is don't be afraid to fail, but be afraid not to try. Would you rather have the regret of discipline or not trying? Discipline will lead you to new actions, new habits, and new results. Turn that around to, “I may fail but I'm not failing to try to be the best I can be.” We went through the eight quotes about afraid. These quotes are very typical of the major afraids that we see at DCB Strategies in breakout profiles that are an obstacle in people's growth journey.
I put these quotes up there and gave you another way of looking at that afraid area and turning it into a positive self-talk scenario. I assure you that 1 of these 8, if not 2 or 3 may hit home with you, and if it does, success. If you have none of these afraid you are on target and take my hat off to you. Again, you're amongst the best in your mindset and how it is settled in. It doesn't mean if you have an afraid or two, you're average. Humans are always making our craft better. It takes more effort and time. Again, reassess, restate, and reactivate.
As I always say at DCB Strategies, if we're human, we're perfectly imperfect. Things will always come and go due to distractions in our day. I'm confident that one or more of these afraids above hit the spot for you. That's natural and healthy to recognize. Your best comes out when you recognize and flip it around as I suggested to drive you into thinking and acting the opposite to enjoy the particular growth journey that you're on. Go for it. You're in growth mode. You're in a growth mindset. Think that way. Afraid is not in your language. When you're in a growth mode, some say beast mode. When you're in a beast mode, you're not afraid while possessing clarity of action and are committed with unwavering persistence.
I hope you enjoyed this episode's topic and discussion points. Afraid is not in our vocabulary at DCB Strategies. We turn it around into positive self-talk work that creates a different sense of energy, courage, habits, and actions. It is filled with simplicity. Everything we're talking about is for free. You got to go into the effort pocket and grab it. Change your way of thinking because it's a new challenge and enjoy the growth. As we say, review, digest, and incorporate it, and you will grow with it.
Go into the effort pocket, grab it, and change your way of thinking. It's a new challenge. Enjoy the growth.
Let's do something unique. Let's inhale the future and exhale the past. Thanks for your time. If you have any questions, comments, or thoughts, are interested in Wednesday weekly wisdom, or signing up for the DCB One Page UpLifts, contact me at Podcast@DCBStrategies.com or go to the website DCBStrategies.com and fill out a contact form and we'll be right back to you. Stay healthy, stay passionate, and enjoy your growth journey. Thank you for your time.